Will The Fifty Shades Of Grey Movie Put You In Hospital?

By | June 8, 2015

Will 50 Shades Send You To Hospital?

Grey2013’s publishing sensation, Fifty Shades Of Grey, has now become 50 Shades Of Grey – The Movie. With three Christian Grey books in the series you can bet on 50 Shades Of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed all being made into films to make a trilogy franchise.

B&Q, the DIY store chain has issued a press release claiming it has instructed employees to read the book or watch the film, ready to offer advice to people buying ropes, chains and duct tape. Whilst there’s no evidence that such a memo did go out to employees, it certainly got plenty of press coverage and I’m rather glad I don’t need any of those items for real DIY projects as I’m sure they raise eyebrows as people go through the checkout.

With a Valentine’s Day release date, businesses and agencies have been quick to tie themselves to the Grey bandwagon. The London Fire Brigade has a #FiftyShadesOfRed hashtag and a full PR campaign to let people know the supposed dangers of copying the film. They spend considerable time each year removing items from people and people from items that really were not supposed to be used for personal purposes.

If you are looking for a Fifty Shades themed London break, the weather will provide the grey, but it turns out the borough of Bromley is the place to go, it has more call outs from people stuck in embarrassing situations than any other in the metropolitan area. That could be because there’s not much else to do in Bromley.

Jamie Dornan is Christian Grey

A Fifty Shades Trilogy of three books meaning three Fifty Shades of Grey Movies means three big paydays for one lucky actor. Everyone who has read the books, and that’s a lot of people, will have an image of what Christian Grey looks like, and who would have made the best Christian Grey actor.

Taking on the role of Christian Grey was not for the faint hearted, it’s bound to create a lot of discussion, and some people will hate the choice, whoever it was. It’s not a role a person would necessarily want to be typecast in.

After Charlie Hunnam pulled out the odds moved in favor of “White Collar” star Matt Bomer, but Jamie Dornan got the nod. He does look good in underpants, and has had quite a career as a Calvin Klein underwear model.

Jamie Dornan is best known in Britain for the fabulous “The Fall” in which he played the lead role as a serial killer. That’s not a spoiler, we know what he’s up to, whilst Gillian Anderson plays the cop brought in to track him down. It’s an absolute treat.

Americans may know him better from Once upon A Time.

Charlie Hunnam is not Christian Grey

Charlie Hunnam is best known and beloved to British viewers from his early role in Queer as Folk, almost 15 years ago. He spent a lot of his time without a shirt, and quite a bit without pants.

More recently he’s been in Pacific Rim and Sons of Anarchy.

If the rumors are true he insisted on having a screen test with several actresses before committing, to ensure that the onscreen chemistry sizzled.

Then he pulled out, citing his TV commitments. Nice publicity stunt, but he’ll be difficult to hire in the future.

Mystery Man

Fantasy Christian Grey

If you could choose anyone to play Christian Grey, anyone at all, from any time period, who would you pick?

Would you go swarthy with Clark Gable, or choose Christopher Plummer (making The Sound of Music a whole other film choice in my head). How about George Clooney in the old ER Days. Maybe Robert Redford from the Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid era? Or would the same era Paul Newman float your boat?

I draw the line at Charlie Chaplin, but it’s your chance to choose …

Dakota Johnson – Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele

It looks like Anastasia Steele will be played by Dakota Johnson. The daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, she’ll certainly know her way around a film set.

Not yet a star in her own right, she has worked on films like The Social Network about Facebook, and been a bit player here and there.

Being a relative unknown she won’t be bringing a lot of baggage to a role already laden down with other peoples’ expectations.

Dakota’s biggest role and highest billing so far has been in a film called “Goats”. Make of that what you will.

Who Were The Frontrunners To Play Christian Grey?

The frontrunners to play Christian Grey were rumored to be Ryan Gosling, Ian Somerhalder , Alex Pettyfer, Alexander Skarsgard and Henry Cavill. Out of that selection my money was on Alexander Skarsgard, but I am partial to a little Nordic style in my life.

The rumors have moved the betting markets, so it’s worth thinking through each hotly tipped contender just a little bit…

Alexander Skarsgard has form as a vampire, would that make him an ideal Christian Grey?

At 3/1 Ryan Gosling was the bookies favorite. I’m unconvinced, he’s too sensitive, to likeable, too “boy-next-door” to carry the part.

Closely following at 5/1 wss Ian Somerhalder seems a more credible Christian Grey. He has dark good looks, a bit of a bad-boy thing going on, but with an underlying impression of being slightly damaged.

Alex Pettyfer looks good in his underpants, and enjoys proving the fact. That put him squarely in contention. He also grew up English and rich, with an expensive education, which will mean little acting is required in the arrogant/damaged department.

Henry Cavill had a good run as Charles Brandon in The Tudors, and flew straight out of Man of Steel and into an 8/1 bet on being Grey. He’s another posh Brit with an expensive education, but did his Superman exposure make him too high profile for the role?

The Outside Bet Rumors For Christian Grey

Much further down the odds table, there were some other actors who some people think could have been Christian Grey. I’m unconvinced that any of these guys would be good choices, but I’m not the casting director.

Robert Pattinson did not seem like a credible contender to me, he’s struggling to grow out of teen heart-throb status, and simply can’t carry the role of a grown man terribly credibly yet.

There’s something about Christian Bale. It’s the thing that made him absolutely perfect as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, and it could have made him a good Christian Grey. He wouldn’t even have to remember a new name. For me, there’s just too much of the American Psycho aura still around and it would make an uncomfortable fit.

Colin Farrell has dark good looks in spades, but that’s about all. He’s identifiably Irish, and that’s not something he’s ever seemed keen to suppress, and he comes with an acting reputation for violence. I think he’s a poor fit.

Seriously? Someone put money on Leonardo DiCaprio to play Christian Grey. I don’t know if they’d been drinking, or whether it was a family member having a joke. Maybe it was his agent.

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